“Don’t you ever write a normal story?” he asked. “You know, a straightforward, simple one, like boy meets girl, fancies her and fucks her, that sort of thing?”

“Boring!” I said, “Dull, lifeless and boring. I like the unconventional”

“But why?” he asked.

“Simple!” I said, “Quite simple! Because life’s not like that, is it?”

“Well……”

“You know its not. Boy meets girl, fancies her wants to fuck her but it is her wrong week, she has a headache or he’s had too much beer and can’t get an erection……”

He laughed. “Yes I s’pose so……”

“Its true! It happens all the time”

“But why unconventional instead?”

“Easy!” I told him.

“Is it?

“Oh yes!”

………………

“Take this Etruscan sword for instance…...”

“Its Roman. It’s a pilum”

“Alright then! You see! Straight away there’s a problem! We only dug the thing up near yesterday and already its wrong”

“Its not that”

“Not that? What is it then?”

“Well……”

“Ok Jillian!” I said resignedly, “it’s a pilum. So what?”

“So, it means the thirty first legion were there after all!”

“Everyone knows that”

She shook her head.

“No……”

“Alright, so I misidentified it. Its easy enough to make a mistake with something this corroded”

“Mmmmm!”

“Isn’t it?”

“Just like your stories! Misinterpreted! We know the Romans had this type of weapon. We know they were in Chester. Chester is a Roman name!

“So, what about the Etruscans?” I asked.

“They have nothing to do with it! They’re a different era, another part of the world. None of them ever came anywhere near Chester!”

“Good! That’s settled then!”

“What is?”

“The reason why I won’t fuck you!”

“Why?”

“Because you are blinding me with your superior knowledge”

“Oh rot!”

“No its not!”

“Yes it is and you are. Just because you’ve been to university……”

“Look……”

“Etruscans made pots didn’t they?”

“Yes they did”

“And there were pots on the dig weren’t there?”

“Potsherds. From Roman pots”

“They were Etruscan pots”

“What, in Chester? In the High Street?”

“It would have been swamp land then”

“Ha I don’t think I’ve ever heard anything so stupid”

“Is that what your professor said?”

“Etruscan pottery in northern England? Don’t be ridiculous”

“Why couldn’t there be?”

“Because the Etruscans never came here”

“But their pots might have done”

“You were very lucky to get a place on this dig!” she said suddenly.

“I know. You told me already. Several times”

“Lucky! Then you go making assertions like this. Making me look silly”

“How?”

“Like ‘That man? The one with the beard. Is he with you? Does he know anything about ……’ That sort of silly!”

I had to stop her then. Get hold of her, stand her up in front of me and hold her arms by her sides. She was starting to wave things around rather dramatically. Pickaxes and shovels and things. It was worrying me.

“Stop!” I said, “Stop for a moment and listen”

“What?” she asked, her body quivering.

“Don’t you think for a minute I might have come on the dig for another reason?”

She looked at me, her eyes bright.

“What other reason?”

“Can’t you guess?”

She shook her head slightly.

“Can’t you?” I insisted.

“To….to get some experience?”

“Balls!” I retorted “I got more than enough experience digging up bits of Viking York”

“You……never told me that”

“You didn’t ask”

“And who do you think found that Saxon helmet in the Thames?”

“What Ida’s helmet?”

“The very same!”

“Not you!”

“Me! Exactly”

“Oh, well I……”

“Yes! So why do you think I came on this dig? How do you think I got a place so easily?”

“I……I didn’t think”

“No you didn’t did you? Well I’ll tell you why. It was so that I could watch you while you were digging. So I could look at you as you knelt on the ground with your trowel and your little brush……”

“But…...”

“No, listen. I remember you from that dig in Salisbury last summer. You teased me then and I know you were teasing me now”

“I wasn’t!”

“Yes you were. Deliberately”

“But……”

“No listen. You let me see you in the showers the other……”

“I didn’t!”



“But you did!”

“Well……”

“You knew I could see you from the window of the hut”

“I ……didn’t”

“You must have otherwise why did you look up at the window? You were teasing me the same as you have been ever since we got here. From the day the JCB arrived to take off the turf”

“Well……”

“Everyday since then you’ve found a way to flash your tits or your legs”

“Well……”

“Stop saying well, you know its true”

“Wel……”

“Stop it!”

“Etruscan?” she laughed.

“Stupid isn’t it?”

“You knew?”

“Course I knew. I brought it here and planted it to annoy you”

“Annoy the Prof more like it. He would have thrown you off the dig if he……”

“If he what?”

“If you weren’t who you are…..you know”

“Yes!”

“So…...”

“Yes?”

“So now what?”

“So are you going to fuck me now?”

“I will consider it, yes”

She would have smacked my face if I hadn’t been holding her arms so tightly. We struggled for a moment, quite wildly, she all hair and flashing eyes, writhing and trying to kick me in the crotch and me, holding onto her wrists tightly whilst doing my best to keep out of the way.

“If you do that I certainly won’t be fucking you, or anybody!” I told her.

Suddenly she went limp and stopped fighting.

“I……I’m sorry” she said softly “I’ve been stupid and……and naughty. I feel stupid now, let me……”

“Don’t move!” I said. “Don’t go anywhere. Don’t even think!”

We pushed aside the jumble of Roman soldier’s bones on the Professors table and Jillian jumped up there.



Her body was very boyish, the little breasts I’d had so many glimpses of over the last several days lying flat against her ribcage like a pair of pale brown fried eggs when I undressed her. She laughed softly, lifting her bum off the table when I pulled at her jeans. Her legs were slimmer than my arms but there was a pleasingly plump and inviting place at the top of them.

I placed the blade of the Roman sword carefully along her body as she lay naked on the professors table, the corroded point just touching the top fringes of her hair.

“Its warm!” she murmured “warm, like…. like a soldier has just used it”

A shattered skull grinned by her shoulder, a jawbone gaped at her left knee.

“Warm!” she said “and……and I sorry for teasing you”

“I enjoyed it really” I said.

She tasted of several days worth of oversexed frustration, of the want she’d kept pent up since the JCB arrived and took off the turf but she came after about two minutes of delightful licking by me.

She came again, noisily when I rubbed the centurion’s thighbone lightly between her legs.

“How does it feel?” I asked “To cum on the leg of a two thousand years old centurion?”

“Lovely! Fucking lovely!” she said. “Now will you……?

“No I won’t. Not yet”



“But I want……”



“Wait!” I said.

“That’s what I’ve been doing” she whimpered “for days! Ever since the JCB got here”

There was a mixture of tastes when I licked her the next time, my tongue going deeper as she shoved herself against my face.

“Now who’s teasing?” I asked, pausing, my nose an inch away from her shining clitoris.

We had to put the sword aside eventually, in case it got broken or simply fell to bits from excitement. The rusty mark it left on her belly didn’t last long either, Roman iron dissolved by good English sweat in a matter of minutes. A few things did fall onto the floor however. Nothing important, just that odd bit of out of place Etruscan pottery. It didn’t break, thankfully because luckily it fell onto the tangled up heap of boots and jeans and knickers.

………………

“Oh I see” he said. “That sort of unconventional”

“Yes”

“But did you get to fuck her in the end?”

“Naturally. Loads of times”

“Thank goodness for that” he said “I thought you were going to save her for the JCB, whatever that is”

“It’s an earth moving machine!” I said.

© Aahlu 08.06.10

back to top