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It was five o’clock when I got up and by ten past things had already gone seriously awry. Talk about getting one’s knickers in a twist! More like putting all one’s clothing on inside out and back to front!

There was trouble with the old brain box too, for some reason. It, or at least a major part of it, appeared not to be working properly.

We were quartered on the official campsite for the season. A particularly stormy season as I recall and what had started out as a pleasant grassy meadow was starting to turn into a disgustingly muddy swamp.

Dee and I were better off than some though. We weren’t in a tent.

“I’m too old for that sort of thing!” Dee told me ruefully at the beginning of the year. “I need my home comforts now more than anything”

She’d be fifty five that year and it was beginning to show. No doubt lying full length in the grave of a Saxon warrior didn’t help her own bones very much either but I’ll come back to that in a moment.

……………

I sat on the edge of the bunk to put my socks on while Dee snored in the bunk opposite. We’d bought a cheap motorhome off EBay two days before we got to the site and soon discovered its weaknesses. I can assure you the next motorhome we get will have a proper double bed, not narrow, squeaky shelves with thin foam cushions on them. But, as I said, we were better than some. At least we weren’t in a tent!

It had rained in the night, quite heavily by all accounts and I’d been awakened around midnight by a commotion. Upon peering out I’d seen a couple of girls arguing outside their tent. They’d pitched it on a slope and that was the problem I think. When it rained water got in and they got wet. It wasn’t as if they didn’t know, they’d been advised not to put their tent up there but they hadn’t listened. “We want to be close to the hedge” they said. And so they were. So close that brambles brushed them when it was windy and water ran in when it rained.

On the other hand we’d got a more or less level spot to park, if you could call a hummocky meadow level for more than a yard in any direction. But those hummocks in the grass were the real giveaway. The reason why we were there, eighteen hundred years after they were built. We’d come to excavate a Saxon cemetery.

I got both socks on, then got into my trousers, sort of hazily, as if a part of me, notably my brain, was still damn well asleep. Dee didn’t wake when I blundered from the sleeping part of our motorhome into the cooking and eating part, a distance of some three feet but she did make a noise of sorts, what you’d crudely call a fart.

Slowly coming into gear I lit the gas and put the kettle on. Blue heat and all the familiar smells and sounds struggled to rouse me. Finding clean teacups and all the rest of the breakfast paraphernalia assisted me further and Dee awoke as if by magic the moment the tea was made. Yawning and stretching she pulled the bedclothes around her shoulders, sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed.

“Well!” she said thoughtfully “That was an escapade wasn’t it!”

“What making the tea?” I asked, my brain still not working properly. And part of it seemed to be aching slightly when I thought about it not at all clearly.

Dee peered at me quizzically.

“You alright?” she asked.

“Apart from having a headache and being partly still asleep!” I said.

“That all?” she asked.

“Are we having cereal or what?” I asked.

“Or what!” Dee said and at five and twenty past five on an August morning that was a good indication of the way the day might be going.

So I got a couple of bowls out of the cupboard and two spoons from the drawer while Dee continued to gaze at me peculiarly.

“Tea too hot?” I asked.

“Nooo……….”

Something was clearly amiss.

“You sure you’re alright?” she persisted.

Now I’m a patient man usually. Quiet, unassuming and patient. And I’m still good looking……….but that has nothing to do with it.

“Why shouldn’t I be?” I asked.

Dee had her favourite old nightdress on I noticed. The flowered one she’s had for years. Old and comfortable, like she is. That’s why she likes it I suppose. I like it as well because its low front exposes a fair bit of cleavage. Except when she keeps the bedclothes wrapped around her like a tent. I can’t see a damn thing then!

A tent?

O Shit!

It all came back to me then, in a rush so quick it made me dizzy. The rain, the girls, what were their names? It didn’t matter!

“I hadn’t realised they were lesbians!” I said.

Dee laughed.

“Jane isn’t but Manda wants her to be. That’s what the argument was about!”

“I see”

Funny how seeing two naked girls fighting in the rain in the middle of the night had affected me. Whats it called? Madness? Paternal instinct? Followed by Amnesia?

“Where is she now?” I asked, a fragmented picture coming back to me.

“Jane?” Dee asked.

“Mmmmn”

“Up there in the front bunk!”

“Oh……….. that would mean……….”

Let me explain a little more about the layout of our motorhome. It’s an unfashionable one, nearly twenty years old, which was why we got it so cheap. “We won’t be going far in it, will we?” we’d convinced each other when we first viewed it “so the poor fuel consumption won’t matter too much” As it was it cost me almost a week’s wages to drive from the sellers house to the campsite, a distance of no more than seventy five miles. It might have been old and creaky, just like Dee and I but the main trouble with it and the reason for it’s drain on our economy was the rounded, whale like shape of the top bunk at the front.

That space was meant for kids really, being little more than an insulated cupboard above the front sears. An adult could get in there, at a pinch, so long as they were not six foot tall.

And Jane, the girl hiding up there certainly wasn’t!

……………..

It was almost a quarter to six when a sheepish Jane pushed the flowered curtain across. We looked up at her and she looked down at us and grinned, chrysalis like, half out of a sleeping bag.

“Cup of tea?” Dee offered lightly.

“Y….yes please…….”

I suppose catching sight of the bare top half of a perfectly shaped woman is something I ought to have been grateful for, so early in the morning but for some strange reason I felt a teeny bit wary. I had a headache, which was unusual for me and a touch of, although I didn’t know it at the time, something which might easily be called amnesia.

“You got to sleep alright in the end, did you?” Dee asked.

Jane nodded.

“I s’pose………..” she said exposing even more of her perfect little body.

Earlier I considered having cereal for breakfast. Now I think I might have a fry up. It will take longer but it doesn’t matter. I don’t mind standing in the kitchenette while Jane is up there.

I didn’t mind even less when she leaned down and spoke to me.

“Thank you for………for helping me out last night. It wasn’t what I……what she……”

“It’s ok!” I said as I offered the mug of tea.

“I don’t think Manda will stay any longer” Dee said thoughtfully and above me Jane made little noises in the mug.

“No?” I asked.

“She won’t want to face up to everybody will she?” Dee suggested and Jane continued making noises.

There’d been a fight I remembered suddenly. One which Jane and Manda had fought last night or early this morning outside our motorhome in the pouring rain. Stupidly unaware of the sexual implications and more concerned by my loss of sleep I’d gone outside and remonstrated, whereupon Manda, had turned her wrath upon me and only Dee’s intervention had prevented a more serious injury.

“You ok?” Dee asked.

“Yeah!” I said.

“I was talking to Jane”

“Ah……..!”

“I’ll be alright in a minute” Jane said, momentarily tearful.

It had gone six o’clock and Ulf’s Saxon hordes would soon be calling. Perhaps his hoards would too, if only we could locate them.

“Have you got anything to put on?” Dee asked

“Not with me” Jane said.

“Where are her clothes?” I asked, frying pan in hand.

Dee tossed her head.

“Out there I ‘spect!”

Jane wasn’t at all modest and Dee didn’t care. We’ve been together far too long for there to be any jealousies between us. Besides she was secretly enjoying her own views of the girl, or so she told me later.

“Looks like Manda is packing up” Dee announced to no-one in particular.

“Good!” Jane said.

No she wasn’t at all modest, in fact she was the exact opposite. Being undressed with us didn’t seem to bother her. It bothered me though, quite a lot and I don’t mind admitting it. Alright I got an erection, instantly, the quickest in years, when she turned herself around in that top bunk and handed her empty mug down to me.

Its meant for kids like I said and for kids there would have been a rail across, something about so high to help keep them from falling out. That’s long gone and we didn’t need it anyway, intending to use the space for storing the other bunk’s bedclothes. That was before Jane came along and retreated up there. Now, when she turned to get out of the sleeping bag Dee’d lent her, whether by accident or design she managed to expose herself completely.

“Careful how you get out!” I warned.

“I don’t think I can” Jane said.

“Ah……..you’ll have to put one foot on the sink………….”

“Ok!”

Ever discreet, Dee went outside at this point. “To pick up Jane’s belongings!” she said.

Inside: “Goodness!” Jane squeaked sexily.

“There used to be a ladder” I said “But it got in the way”

She got one foot on the end of the unit alright but that was it.

“What now?” she asked “I’m stuck!”

Some girls have a pretty pattern of pubic hair don’t they, while others, like Dee have more of a bush. Those that are not fashionably shaven I mean. Jane had a pattern of hair which was perfectly symmetrical, like a fern or the branches of some exotic miniature tree.

And I suppose it was an exotic tree, in a way, certainly an erotic one. One I could have looked at all day.

“That’s a sight for sore eyes!” I said.

Jane tittered prettily.

“And a sore head?” she asked.

“That’s gone now!” I told her. Suddenly it had.

She stayed still for a moment, in the same position, deliberately showing herself off to me. Sight for sore eyes? I ought to have been a botanist not an archaeologist for the fern grew out of a pair of neat little lips, pink and pursed so prettily for me to see.

“Headache relief!” Jane said daringly.

I was about to have my first taste of what was so plainly on offer when Dee reappeared with a random selection of Jane’s doings in her hands.

“Come on!” she ordered, good naturedly “You’ve no time for that!”

So I helped Jane down and Dee helped her dress and together, somehow, in that tiny kitchenette we cooked eggs beans and bacon times three, with fried bread which we munched as we walked up the hill to the site only a little bit late.

………………

Rumours were running high that morning, it seemed. Or were until everyone realised that Manda had packed up and gone. The whole place quietened down after that, which was a good indication of how little she was really liked.

She’d taken her tent too, which left Jane no option but to move in with Me and Dee for the remaining weeks of the season. The arrangement caused comment and raised eyebrows in some quarters but Dee soon put everyone straight. Privately we worked out a way to utilise all the seat cushions and the pull out drawers under them to make up one, half decent bed. It was tight but Jane was only a little girl and liked to lie in between us. She isn’t lesbian, in spite of what you may have heard but she is, well you know, what some sneering people call bisexual.

“Manda hated men!” she confided, sometime later, days later when we were all tucked up together in our tight little bed.

“In fact she didn’t really like anyone did she?” Dee suggested.

We worked out a way of helping each other very quickly, a way to satisfy one another and a way to lie without one limb or other going numb. There were one or two small problems, naturally, some of which involved removing the knobs on the drawers so they didn’t poke into us as we lay in bed. Next year we are definitely getting a better motorhome, one with a proper bedroom and a proper bed. A bed with plenty of room for the three of us to sleep in comfortably.

I know Dee and I had grown complacent and lazy with each other over the years but our lives improved markedly the moment Jane came to stay. It woke us up and made us aware of what we had and what, with a little give and take, we could easily be. We all get what we want now and plenty of it, Dee and Jane and me.

© Aahlu. 130811.

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