How fare thee now, oh my sweet? How runs thy world upon that distant island? Please let me know, if you will, though I have little to relate in return save doom and gloom and the slough of despondency. Misfortune dogs me you see, a black dog at that, whining at the door and scratching at it too, oft times, yet not as yet dog enough to howl at the moon directly. Alone in darkness I stumble and sleep, redolent with various cat’s jealousy, staving off minor wars, scrubbing away piety and pity indiscriminately. I have sore nipples from too much thinking and back ache from vain attempts to sit upright in my chair. You’ve gone and she’s here and all should be well with my world.

But it isn’t.

Her body is beautiful but she is nothing compared to you.

That sums it up, wraps it up, boxes it off, puts it in a nutshell, but still the telling of it does nothing for me while the need for you still looms moodily, dragging at my day like a deadweight. I was stupid to let you go, I know that now, but madness tricked me and the desire for change blinkered my senses. Would that I had ten years fewer and ten leagues perhaps less in the race to run. Would too that some old friends were still here with me. Yet still, wantonly, selfishly, I squandered this and that repeatedly, scattering my seed freely, expecting too much and obtaining naught in return save eventual, inevitable disappointment. Harsh words ensued, inevitably, old furrows became re-ploughed and lo! The manure still lay where it had, so long ago, been first scattered. Naught had changed and naught altered. The way goes on both broad and narrow, straight and crooked, no change except you are gone and she is here and, alas, the black dog of despondency still follows me.

Beautifully submissive. Enough to make keeping her worthwhile, maybe.

But you see I have come to question, several ideals I did once hold to be true. Now I berate the ambassadors of morning and tear the midday asunder with regrets clawed nails. You are gone and she is here, but still I am as irate in my irrationality as I have ever been. Desire destroys in time as surely as rust will, and as painfully, in spite of all the promising salves and soothing oils.

She cries real tears and her screams ought to excite me.

But they don’t.

Listen! Look! Bide here awhile and I will tell you what I have done with her, for her, so far. Progress, I think you will agree, it is not but disappointment for me it most certainly is.

I fixed her to the frame exactly in the way you used to like it done, tickled her lightly with your favourite switch, reddening her thighs a little but no more than I’d have done had they been yours. She screamed and swore and writhed nicely in a hopeless attempt to get away. When the ball inflated she made me think she was choking, so horrendous were the noises she made. I could see my actions had aroused her, unmistakeably so, for her parts had become wet and rosily swollen, but still, perversely she retained her composure and reservation.

Somehow she’d sensed I think, that I wanted you, not her, then, now and always.

I still do.

Persevering I turned her completely, taut upon the frame until, upended her hair trailed untidily onto the floor. Umbel brought the first vibrator, the black one, and you remember my sweet how delicious that one feels when he worked on you with it? Umbel showed it to her, smiling sardonically when she screamed so I bade him bite her several times between the legs and this he did, bringing forth further noises and deliciously frantic writhings. I allowed him to insert the vibrator and switch it on for a few minutes. Then, while it hummed and she gurgled, treacly streamers of saliva slipping past the gag, past her nose to stretch themselves out onto her hair, Jade brought the smallest of the tickling whips, those you once thrilled so much to have upon your soft tits.

Sadly with this girl all my efforts, and Jade’s, availed me nothing.

She wasn’t and isn’t you, you see.

Umbel increased the momentum of the vibrator and she increased the intensity of her animal noises, her breasts distorted, misshapen by their upsidedownedness.

Oh my dear your breasts never looked so incongruous as hers did, nor your legs so, what could only be called misshapen.

I hoped against hope for some satisfaction from somewhere but none came.

None came!

When Jade brought the proper whip her writhing became ferocious and frantic. We smiled at each other, Jade and I, knowing only too well we’d never need it. Umbel on the other hand merely reached and turned the vibrator onto full intensity.

All to no avail except to bring me to a sudden but undeniable conclusion. Which is this: I know too little about bondage to write anything readable about it. No, do not deny it for my vanity, oh my sweet! I need no island like yours, for mine is here already with me, encompassing, omnipotent and as ponderous as the thunderclouds which gather, half a dozen steps away, just round tomorrow morning’s sharp grey corner.

With a heavy heart I turned the wheel, bringing her back round to being upright again. Almost immediately the black vibrator fell out of her with a dismal plop. Then, irritated by our incompetence she signalled release, which we granted, as agreed, immediately.

Umbel untied her, helped her down, held the bowl to receive the ball from her mouth while Jade swished the unused whip in a disconsolate whisper.

“Dammit all!” I cried in exasperation.

Then Jade sighed and Umbel shivered and took each other to bed. The new girl rubbed her wrists and glared at me hopefully, still dribbling, still swollen it was plain to see. Her breasts, right way up, looked some would say perfect while her crotch gleamed with desire’s bright radiantcy.

“What next?” she asked.

I shook my head, turned, not even half erect, finding only disappointment, wanting no more of her that way, or any way. I only wanted, so desperately, you and only you, my dear!

Tied or untied you were all I ever needed! Oh where are you now and do you remember pleasure’s pain and how we used to feel it?

“Bed I s’pose!” I told her, my mind already acknowledging the futility.

© Aahlu 26.05.10.