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There was I, sitting quietly, enjoying the late Autumn sunshine and a late in the day cup of late berry coffee when who should come riding by, as bold as brass and thrice as shiny, on a big bay horse but my dear husband, old George Olduvai.

You remember him don’t you? He was the man who…….who……oh never mind. If I start telling you that particular story all over again, you’ll get bored and tell me to shut up.

He had someone with him too, a companion, some kind of a woman by the look of it, riding awkwardly as if she, it, was sore and weary from a long journey.

Oh he waved alright, when he saw me. He hesitated awhile too, while he wished he hadn’t seen me, but I knew what he was up to alright, so I waved nonchalantly back at him.

Then I finished my coffee, ordered another and asked for the bill to be sent to wherever old George was headed.

Which turned out to be Molly’s Place, well hell! Who’d have dreamed it?
…………..

I wandered over there later, to the bar in Molly’s you know, in order to see if I could see him. And of course he was there, exactly as I knew he’d be, propping the bar, looking sour and, as always, armed to the teeth.

His companion looked little better. No she, or maybe it, looked worse but it ignored me.

“Where the hell have you been this time George?” I asked him.

His companion, or whatever it was, peered at me sourly, it’s face, what I could see of it, looked like it might have caught the reflected glare of a blaster. No, I’d say, if I was honest, it looked like it had caught the full force of a very well aimed boot. Several times over. That said it was female, I thought, covered from head to tail as it was in the palest of pale khaki.

“Have a drink?” George offered me thoughtfully.

I tossed my head.

“So long as it’s one o’ them ‘New Mountain’ coffees.
George laughed and his companion made a noise somewhat unlike an overweight donkey farting.

“Coffee!” he chortled “What happened to all those stronger things you used to drink?”

“Coffees fine for now!” I reiterated. The stronger things had burned my guts to a crisp but I wasn’t into giving away that information.

Yea, it was definitely a female, George’s companion. A female something that is. Whether fish or fowl though, I had yet to determine. Unless that is, the males of some species or other have developed the knack of sprouting tits.

And knowing what I know now I wouldn’t discount that probability!

“The boss of the sand miners gave me a job to do” George said evenly. “Northwestern desert, right up on the border………”

“Yeah?” I asked. It was all bollocks and both of us knew it.

“Well!” George said “He’s calling in this afternoon to pay me so you can ask him yourself if you like!”

“I’ll do that!” I said.

Then my coffee came and George paid for it and his companion sat itself down in the seat opposite in order to glower at me.

You know, I perfected a useful art a long time ago. The art of staring back at someone, or something, over the rim of a coffee cup. This time, for a change, I didn’t stare back into its eyes, this time I set a small smile on my face and stared through the open front of the khaki at old George Olduvai’s companion’s tits.

They were only little ones, but nicely shaped, which made it an even bigger shame about the rest of her. Hemispherical and, yes, lightly patterned they were, which gave me some idea where she might have come from originally.

The companion said nothing verbally while her eyes said almost everything. Not hatred as such, but some murderous intentions all the same.

So I moved my left arm, just in case. Moved it so that the muzzle of the darter sewn into my sleeve pointed directly as the companion’s mouth. Then of course George, complete with pint glass, half pint pot and chaser, dragged up a chair and with an inordinate amount of puffing and blowing, sat himself down between us.
“Sand miners?” I spat “You must think I was born yesterday!”

Old George grimaced and nodded

“I had to put off telling you for as long as I could” he said quietly “but the jobs done now. Finished! And I think that’s all that’s left to be said”

“No it damn well isn’t!” I retorted hotly

George looked at me then. Straight at me, his eyes unwavering.

“Don’t take it like that!” he said.

Sweethearts I’d have shot the bastard there and then if I’d thought I could have got away with it. Shot his leering, round titted companion too, if I got the chance. But, like as not, if I had something lethal pointing at her then for sure she’d have something similar directed at me. Then with misunderstandings and misinterpreted movement, hair triggers and one or two other things the situation might easily and very quickly become quite precarious.

“How would you like me to take it?” I asked quietly “Abandoned, penniless and with a couple of kids……..”

“Couple of kids?” George snorted. Whose?”

“Twins and yours, you bastard!” I said. I didn’t mention the other guy who I suspected of being a co-father. The time wasn’t right just yet.

Oh it’s a long, long story and I am not going to go into detail here. George had been my husband to begin with, in another story and on my ship that is, when I, in all innocence, stood in some awe of him.

I soon wiped it off my boots however, most of it after the first series of silly fuck ups. You can’t leave any of the final nines out of your course calculations; I know that now but I didn’t know it then. And, ordinarily a gallon of water weighs ten pounds, everyone knows that.

I didn’t, once upon a time. Nor did George Olduvai it seemed.

So it went on, balls ups and muddles after disasters narrowly averted, after this that or the other near miss.

We stopped sleeping together after the first ten days, which didn’t help matters one little bit. In fact it hindered them equally, if not more so because then he wanted to fuck me during the day instead.

We made a timetable and he lost it. I drew up another and he disagreed. Very soon I grew sick of the sight of him wanking every half hour. Soon after that I took up wearing a full set of clothes again.

“Whats the matter?” he’d asked peevishly.

“Getting’ shy!” I said.

Which didn’t stop him wanking, not for one minute! On and on he went, splattering his stuff everywhere.

“One of these days you’ll shrivel up and die!” I told him.

“Or like my mum said, I’ll go blind!” he said.

It was useless trying to talk to him clearly.

So when finally we got here, three months late and desperately leaking away all our good air I thought it best if we called it a day. Luckily none of my cargo was in contract so there were no late delivery penalties to pay. The seed corn had missed the springtime planting however and might be no use at all for the following year. That was almost half my cargo and the stuff on which I’d invested so much of my own money. Disgruntled I resigned myself to just wait and see.

We had a goodbye argument while the hull cooled, for half an hour after we’d landed. Something about trousers if I recall rightly. He’d disappeared out of my life completely soon after that.

Until now that is!
……………

“Twins!” George said carefully “I don’t see how we managed it!”

“How you managed it” I corrected.

“You told me you were on the pill” he said.

“And you told me you’d had a vasectomy……”

“You lied, obviously!”

“Me?”

“Perhaps both of us did” George suggested.

“Perhaps!” I said. I didn’t tell him that one kid looked like him exactly while the other was a replica of another guy entirely. A copy of kipper eating friend of mine called James if you must know precisely.
Across the table George’s companion continued to glare at me.

I’d only need to move my arm slightly and I’d have her. Then an inch or so to the left and I’d have him.

“I wouldn’t try it!” George said

“I already have” I said. “And it’s nasty!”

George grunted harshly.

“If that’s a nailer in your sleeve you’ll be dead first” he informed me mildly “SeeSee has both Higas and a darter pointed at you”

“Ten seconds!” I said and George laughed.

“Put your bloody arm down for goodness sake, before you make us all look stupid”

“Only when she does!” I said. “Five seconds……”

“Doh!” Old George said.

SeeSee put her arms by her sides and shrugged her shoulders quickly. I could have sworn I heard something mechanical click.

Another ten seconds passed before I lowered my own weapon.

“That’s better!” Old George said.

“I haven’t been so turned on since………” I began.

“Since you went round and round with the miller’s daughter! Yes I know! I told it to you first, remember?”

“I thought it was the miller’s mother who told me!” I said.
……………..

He was all sweetness and light after I’d got the better of him, was old George. Not so his companion SeeSee. Still dumb so far as I could tell she continued to glower at me.

More drinks appeared for the three of us and some small foods, so called, pieces of cooked meat and fish pierced with little sticks.

“So where have you been really?” I asked.

“Northwestern desert, like I told you!” old George said.

My sigh blew several of the serviettes off the table and wrinkled the skin on my rapidly cooling coffee.

“Which is where I met up with SeeSee” he went on, leaning deferentially towards his companion.

That statement wrong footed me momentarily though I did not let him see it. I’d taken her for a native of the planet, but as one from the far south, way down close to the equator. Where else, how else, I wondered, would she have come by such lovely dark skin. And such murderous eyes too, which kept on glowering at me.

“Six years!” I pronounced eventually.

Both of them looked at me.

“Six bloody years, that’s how long I’ve been here waiting!”

“Is it as long as that?” George put in thoughtfully.

“Six years!” I persisted “and in those six years I can honestly say I have learned a thing or two about the place!”

“Oh yes?” George said again.

“Like whereabouts dark skinned women with black hair and pretty patterns on their breasts come from!” I crowed “And it isn’t nowhere near the damned northwest!”

“Oh I see! I see!” George yodelled suddenly. “I see now what you are getting at!”

He was as pissed as a proverbial newt obviously.

“No, SeeSee doesn’t come from down there!” George said slowly. “In fact he isn’t even a native of this planet. Merely a guest and a companion provided by the sand mining company especially for me…….”

“So there!” SeeSee said gruffly.

Yes gruffly. It had the blooming voice of a man.

“Put her straight” George said quietly.

More drinks appeared, as if by magic and this is the tale SeeSee told to me:

“My parents were migrant settlers on one of the early, so called Expeditions from Earth ships. They were poor people financially so they travelled stowage, as it was known, in a cheaper sort of hybernaculum which usually only carried animals in cryosleep”

“I know the kind!” I said.

“Radiations from the ships powerhouse affected them although they did not know it at the time, changing the genetic structures of both of them. I was born a year or so after landfall by which time they’d settled and become ill, off and on, all very mysteriously………”

I knew what was coming even before SeeSee said it and didn’t know whether to hug and kiss or say sorry to him.

“I’m a first generation hermaphrodite” SeeSee told me, I thought rather gaily. “The eldest and the most famous……..”

George snorted. “Your sister is better looking than you are!” he said.

“Better looking yes” SeeSee agreed “But her dick isn’t as big”

Sweethearts I tell you I was suddenly most certainly and most mightily aroused!

SeeSee must have picked up on this because he, or she, I’m not certain which, all at once stopped glowering and actually smiled at me.

Then the sandminer’s man came and spoiled everything, though only momentarily. He paid George and SeeSee and they were both very happy and hugged him. Then he accepted the offer of a big hug from me.

Well you know, I was feeling rather randy by that time and, had he not been there, I might have gone off and hugged almost any damn thing.

“Whose your friend?” he gasped at George, when I released him. “Has she been shut up somewhere for a long time??”

You know, I only came here for a cup of New Mountain coffee and look what I got with it: The return of an absent husband who was drunk and a very poor liar, a dark skinned hermaphrodite with luscious eyes and perfectly shaped tits, and a man who told me later had come all the way up from ‘Austaralia’ to be here for me. At first I didn’t think I could believe any of it.

Then of course I went back with them, back in the sandminer’s ute to a rough wooden shed. A wooden shack of a building out in the middle of nowhere. SeeSee showed me his cock on the way and allowed me to measure exactly the size of his tits. The right is fractionally larger, but only fractionally, which sort of tells you how perfectly they fitted into my hands. Then later, when all four of us were in bed together, she allowed me access to her other female thing…….

© Aahlu. 101010.