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If I recall it was a rainy Sunday morning. I often start the day by checking my homepage on the net. That is where I get my news these days. I rarely watch TV news anymore. Too depressing. As I looked through the articles I found the usual stuff on how bad the economy is, gloom and doom about global warming or something else I can't do anything about and the usual celebrity gossip. Hmm, do I really need to know how many kids Brad and Angelina adopted this week, I thought? Naw. Oh, here's something different, an article on sex fantasy. I'm not going to say I read every sex related article I see, probably just 99 per cent, but this seemed interesting. It was. It discussed the large percentage of women with submissive fantasies and how people often use fantasy to get them 'in the mood' so to speak. Nothing earth shattering, but a good read nonetheless. One thing I did take note of was a link to a web-site pertaining to sex fantasy. That I thought worth checking out, so I did. It was a site that allowed people to post their sex fantasies and have other people rate them. Now that seemed different. I thought it was probably a bunch of old perverts, but it was free to join, so I did. I mean, it was free, so why wouldn't I join? That's what it said on the site. Besides, what did I have to lose?

I wouldn't say my joining a sex fantasy web-site was out of character. It wouldn't necessarily be something expected of me, though I don't think it would really surprise anyone who knew me. I was a single guy and although I would not say I was obsessed with sex, I have certainly never lost interest. I had tried Internet dating earlier in the year, with mixed but promising results. I had also recently been curious about some of the more adult oriented Internet dating sites, like Adult Finder and Fling. Adult Finder is something like sixty bucks a month, so I joined Fling for a third as much. So, adult oriented sites are not completely new to me, but not really expected.

This new sex fantasy site was different. People could post their sex fantasies and have others rate them. You could also rate other people's fantasies. If you liked someone's work, you could add him or her as a friend.

This allowed them to view any private photos you had, similar to other social networking sites such as Facebook or Fling with its Fling Friends. You could also message and chat with other members. It was definitely not an Internet dating site, though the possibility for a hook-up seemed there. When I first joined I never expected to write anything. I mean, what fantasies did I have that were probably not covered in some form or another a thousand times over? There were thousands of members and new fantasies every day. I was curious in reading some of the fantasies, but really, what did I have to offer?

As I got into the site, and I was spending a lot of evenings on it in the first month or so, I was struck by the differences in the way men and women wrote. For the most part it seemed men were more story oriented and women more sex oriented, the opposite of what I would have expected considering women read romance novels and men are considered dogs. The other thing that struck me is that it seemed that most of the stories were tales of past sexual adventures rather than true fantasy, though the best fantasies would be hard to tell either way. After a few days, I was intrigued by the possibility of actually writing something, but what? I had never thought of writing sex stories, I may have told a few, but writing them for the net, no. I had thought about stories an ex-girlfriend had told me about her somewhat unnatural, at least to her, connection she had with her blanket. I thought it would make an intriguing story, so I wrote it up with a few embellishments. It did not do real well, but it was a start.

Around this time I was also perusing Fling and contacted one of my first Fling Friends. She was a 27-year-old girl who liked to be tied up. She also had hair that was braided like Bo Derek in '10'. It really reminded me of rope. She had started seeing someone else, but I felt I had to ask her if she had ever been tied up with her own hair. She had not, but I could not help thinking there must be a good story here. I came up with a scenario in which the main character of the story ties up his girlfriend with her own hair and posted it on the sex fantasy site. It was a somewhat believable story that I felt could in fact happen if the circumstances were exactly right. It was also what the girl wanted. It was also somewhat of a hit on the site, going on and off the Hot 9 list three times. Prior to this, nobody seemed to notice me on the sex fantasy site, now girls in three countries were adding me as friends.

I continued to write stories and post them. I became sort of hooked on it. It had various unexpected rewards. There was the reward of seeing your fantasy high on the Hottest list. Yes, us guys are very competitive and shooting for the hottest fantasy became somewhat of a challenge. There was the reward of the increased female attention from all over the world. Girls were also showing me photos, often naked, of themselves. There was also an odd sort of feeling of doing something sexual and getting a high rating. Sort of like, 'Was it good for you?' and having ten women all say 'yes'. It became an addiction I did not seem to mind. As I wrote more, my popularity only increased, especially after taking a stab at combining sex and humor.

Even though I was getting messages almost daily and a few girls chatted with me while I was online, it never really occurred to me that I would ever hook-up with any of these women. It was not a dating site and I didn't expect that from it. Besides, most of these women were spread around the globe. That, combined with the fact that most of the conversations were fairly light, not what I would call particularly sexual in nature.

That soon changed. One of the women I chatted with frequently lived up north, but still on the same coast. She lived maybe five hours away, a drive, but doable. Her conversations became increasingly personal. She was only a few years younger than I was and very attractive from what I could see in her photos. Our initial conversations revolved around the site and our being on it. That led to our writings and our inspirations. From there the discussions led to serious 'what have you actually done?' in the stories type stuff. Some of our chat became very sexual in nature and I often became extremely aroused.

She was also a woman who clearly liked to try new things, whether it was sexual or a new restaurant. This is something that is very attractive to me. She also dotted her conversations with humor and her self-deprecating remarks often mirrored my own sense of humor. I was becoming quite hooked. Our chats at night were becoming the high point of my day. I often became lost in thought just thinking of her. Her eroticism in her chats exceeded anything I thought possible over a computer. Her detailed descriptions of what she was wearing, how she felt, what she wanted to do, it was mind-boggling. So, when Linda suggested we actually get together and meet, I was elated. I felt a natural high more intense than anything I can recall in my adult life. To get together with a woman so sexual, experimental, humorous and good looking seemed like a real fantasy come true.

We made arrangements to meet at an old bed and breakfast in upstate New York that she had been to before. This was about half way between our respective residences. The B and B was on a lake and would be very romantic. The center of town was very quaint with lots of antique shops and a few small cozy restaurants. It seemed like the perfect get away. I was psyched. I gave her my cell phone number to arrange last minute details. It's funny, but we got to this point without ever hearing each other's voices. When she called, I literally had my car keys in my hand about to embark on our perfect romantic journey.

I answered the phone.

"Hey baby."

"Hey, I am so looking forward to this."

"Me too." Her voice sounded so smooth. As smooth as velvet.

"I need this sooo bad. You have no idea."

"Me too. I can't wait to see you."

"This is the perfect weekend for this. My husband's away and I probably won't get another chance for months. I'll see you in a couple hours. I'm waiting..."

I hung up the phone. I stood there in silence. Her husband was away. I didn't even know she had a husband. The thought had never occurred to me. I had just assumed that a girl who chatted up a guy on a sex-oriented site was single. Was I really that naive? Did I have such an idealized view of marriage to not even realize the possibility? Was I just such a jerk? One thing I was not was a home wrecker. What would make her think I might hook up with another man's wife? Was it the stories I wrote? They were pure fantasy. We met on a fantasy web-site. Now fantasy was crossing over into reality and I did not like it one bit. I felt shattered. Really let down.

I put down the keys to the car. I went to the refrigerator and got myself a beer. I sat down at my computer. I felt the urge to write another story.

05-25-09.