Evelyn
noticed the door to Kimberly's bedroom was slightly open and peeked in. Her
daughter was asleep in her normal position – arms and legs sprawled across the
full width of the bed. That'll have to change, Evelyn chuckled to herself.
Jerry won't mind her touching him when they're in bed, but he won't like
getting pushed off the edge.
Evelyn
went to the kitchen and started the coffeepot, then went to the pantry for the
box of cereal and a fresh orange. The coffeemaker burbled away as she poured
the little squares of cereal into a bowl and drowned them with two- percent
milk. After sprinkling the bowl with sweetener, she went back to the coffeepot.
It wasn't yet finished, but she poured her cup full anyway and took it back to
the table.
Tonight
was the wedding rehearsal for Kimberly and Jerry. How had her life raced away
right in front of her? When her husband had left her for another woman,
Kimberly had been only twelve. Now she was twenty-one and launching a life of
her own with Jerry.
Evelyn
was happy for her daughter, but there was a feeling of loss too. Kimberly was
the force that had made her go on after Bill left them. Kimberly was the reason
she'd looked for a job and then strived to rise to her current position in the
company. Kimberly's college education was the reason she saved her money all
those years. Kimberly was the one she talked with about all the things in her
life. In two days, Kimberly would be gone, married to a great guy, and starting
her own life. In two days, Evelyn would be alone for the first time in
thirty-three years.
Yes,
she'd thought about another man in her life, even dated some, but as soon as
they learned about Kimberly, they stopped calling her. There was one man at her
office who didn't seem to mind that she had a daughter, but after one date, one
of the women in her office told her he was already married. When Evelyn
confronted him with that question, he admitted it was so. After that, she
politely declined any invitation that came her way.
Kimberly
walked into the kitchen in her usual nightclothes, an old T-shirt that reached
half way down her hips. Her pink cotton panties peeked from under the hem, and
below them were her long, tanned legs. Evelyn smiled. Jerry was getting a
beautiful, sexy girl for his wife. Of course, he already knew that, and she
suspected he'd had more than a sample or two over the last year. She couldn't
blame him, nor could she find fault with Kimberly. She'd tried to raise her
daughter with a healthy attitude toward sex and what it meant to be in love. She'd
also been very open about birth control in hopes that if Kimberly had decided
to sleep with a man, she'd at understand how to be safe.
Kimberly
scratched her head, churning the mass of dark brown waves into an even bigger
mess and then yawned.
"Morning,
Mom."
"Good
morning, Honey. Sleep well?"
"Yeah,
I guess. I'm kinda nervous though."
"Brides
always are. I was too."
"I
just keep wondering if this is the right thing to do. I mean, I love Jerry, at
least I think I do, and he's a great guy, but what if it turns out like…"
"Like
your father and me? Honey, nobody can say what'll happen after a few years. I
couldn't, and I doubt your father could either. The best any of us can do is
follow our hearts. What's yours tell you?"
"It
tells me I want to be with him as much as I can."
"Then
marriage is the right thing to do."
Evelyn
tipped her cup and drank the last of her coffee.
"Don't
worry so much, Honey. I know you've thought about this for a long time, and I
know Jerry has too. He's as nervous as you are, or at least that's what he told
me the other night. Just try to meet each other half way and you'll be fine.
Now, don't forget to pick up your gown today, and be sure to try it on before
you write the check. I have to get to work."
Kimberly
smiled as her mother went out the door. Mom had been so good to her. Sure,
she'd held the reins tight when Kimberly had wanted to go charging ahead with
the makeup and clothes all the rock stars wore, but she'd also been her best
friend. Mom had comforted her through her first breakup with a guy, and she'd
been right about him too. Tim had turned out to be pretty much worthless after
high school.
Kimberly
knew her mother had been strained almost to the breaking point sometimes. She
still remembered hearing her mother crying in her room, late at night when she
thought Kimberly was asleep. Her mother had never shared the reasons with her,
but Kimberly was sure they were about money. She'd asked once why her mother
didn't get some new clothes and her mother just said new clothes wouldn't do
her any good, but that Kimberly was growing fast and needed them. Before her
mother had been promoted to office manager, Kimberly remembered eating a lot of
spaghetti for dinner.
Once
Kimberly understood that her mother's salary was barely enough to get them by,
she stopped asking for things. When she turned sixteen, she got a job on
Saturdays and Sundays waiting tables. That money she used to get what she told
her mother were "mommy presents." Sometimes it was a bottle of nail polish,
sometimes some perfume, but always it was something she knew her mother wanted
but wouldn't spend the money on.
How
her mother had managed to send her through college she didn't know, but she
had. The scholarship she'd been awarded paid most of the cost, but there was
still room and board. She was glad she'd graduated that spring. She'd found a
job, and was financially independent. Even so, her mother refused to let her
pay rent or share in the household expenses.
When
Kimberly had shown her mother Jerry's engagement ring, she'd cried and hugged
her.
"I'm
so happy for you, Honey. Jerry's a wonderful man. I'm sure you'll be very
happy. We have a lot to plan now, don't we?"
The
rehearsal had gone smoothly, except for the attack of giggles Kimberly had when
the pastor said to Jerry, "now is when you're supposed to kiss her." He'd
finally managed to get in a peck on her cheek before they turned and walked
back down the aisle.
The
rehearsal dinner had been fun. For the first time, Evelyn met some of Jerry's
family. His mother and father were good people, she thought, even though they
seemed a bit standoffish toward her. She couldn't blame them, really. She knew
how it felt to have your child taken from you, and figured they felt the same
way.
It
was Jerry's aunt who struck her as fascinating. Barbara wasn't really part of
the wedding party. Jerry introduced them and said "Aunt Barbara" had arranged
the rehearsal dinner so he thought it only right that she be invited.
Evelyn
and Barbara sat together during the dinner. Evelyn found they had a lot in
common. Both had been divorced for several years although Barbara had
remarried. They both had children. Barbara's boy and girl had flown the nest a
few years earlier.
Barbara
had a degree in family counseling, and was part of a network of counselors
utilized by many companies in the area as a benefit to their employees. Her
stories of the strange situations she'd helped resolve made Evelyn laugh.
Barbara laughed just as much at Evelyn's stories of office politics and love
affairs.
The
party was beginning to break up when Barbara told Evelyn she had stay until
everybody left to take care of the bill. She invited Evelyn to the bar for a
drink while she waited. The white wine relaxed them both, and they fell to talking
about how it felt to be alone and how Barbara had coped.
"Well,
Evelyn, I'll tell you, the first month, I like to went crazy. I worried about
how Caroline – she's my daughter - about how she was doing. I called her twice
a day until she finally told me to stop or she'd get an unlisted number."
Barbara
laughed.
"Seems
I'd caught them in bed and Jimmy almost had her there. Damn, was she ever
pissed. Can't blame her, really, though I think she could have been a bit more
understanding about the whole thing. I mean, it wasn't the first or last time
she was gonna get screwed, now was it?
"Todd,
that's my husband's name, wasn't much help either. He didn't seem to be
affected in the least. 'Course, Caroline isn't really his, so I guess that was
why."
"So,
what'd you finally do?"
Barbara
leaned toward Evelyn and cupped her hand beside her mouth.
"I
took the advice I give other people sometimes. I started having sex more often,
almost every day in fact."
Barbara
giggled.
"Took
my mind off being alone that first year 'cause I was always either looking
forward to having sex, having sex, or coming down from the orgasm. Still do,
for all the same reasons."
Evelyn
laughed then.
"I
suppose Todd doesn't have any problems with that either."
"No.
He's always been very understanding about what I need, and bless his heart, he
always tries to see that I'm satisfied."
"Well,
I don't have a Todd, so I guess I'll just be lonely for a while."
"Nah,
don't say that. The one for you is out there, and probably closer than you
think. All you have to do is decide what you want, and it'll come. Oh, here
comes the guy with the bill. I'll just write him a check and then I'll be off
to home and a hot bath before bed. You gonna be OK getting home? The way you
were sipping your wine, I don't think you're much of a drinker."
Evelyn
said she'd be fine, said goodbye to Barbara, and drove home. That night, she
thought about what Barbara had said about having more sex. It had been so long
since a man touched her, she'd almost forgotten what it felt like.
That
Saturday, Evelyn drove Kimberly to the hairdresser at nine, and two hours later
brought her back home. After lunch, they loaded Evelyn's car with Kimberly's
suitcase, makeup case and her dress and shoes and drove to the church.
Bill
had missed the rehearsal, but he made it to the wedding. Evelyn smiled when he
walked up and took her hand.
"Evvy,
you're beautiful, just like always."
Evelyn
smiled.
"Thank
you for coming. Kimberly is so happy that you're going to give her away."
"Kimmy's
my only daughter. I couldn't disappoint her on her wedding day."
"Did
your wife come with you? We didn't know if she would or not, but we have a
place for her in the front if she did."
"We're
uh, we're not together anymore since, let's see…about two months now."
"Oh.
I'm sorry."
"No,
don't be. We parted as friends. How about you? Any man in your life?"
"No.
A few friends at work, but nothing serious."
"In
that case, can I get you dinner tonight? Just for old times, nothing more."
Evelyn
laughed.
"Let's
see how this goes. I might not be in any shape to go out after losing my
daughter today."
At
three, the organist played the fanfare for the wedding procession. The
bridesmaids were beautiful in their lavender dresses, and the groomsmen who led
them down the aisle were equally as handsome. After them came Jerry's nephew
and niece, complete with small versions of the same clothing, Tommy clutching
the lavender pillow with the rings, and little Beverly gaily strewing lavender
rose petals on the white throw.
The
fanfare sounded again, and the people in the church rose. Evelyn caught her
breath when Bill walked through the door with Kimberly. Her daughter was
radiant, even moreso than when she'd helped her into her dress. Evelyn's eyes
blurred as the first tears filled them. She fished in her purse for her
handkerchief.
It
was a beautiful ceremony, and over too quickly Evelyn thought. If a mother had
to give her daughter to a strange man, it ought to take longer. Yesterday,
she'd come home and she and Kimberly had talked about any number of things,
mostly because Kimberly was so nervous, but it had felt good to have things
like they'd always been. Now, after a few minutes of promises and a final kiss,
Kimberly was gone.
After
the reception and the dash Jerry and Kimberly made through a hail of rice,
Evelyn watched them drive off. She was happy and sad at the same time; two
feelings she'd never before had at the same time.
"Gets
you right where you live, doesn't it?" Evelyn turned and saw Barbara standing
beside her.
"I
know what you're feeling, Evelyn. You're so happy for her that you need to cry
and you're so sad that you need to cry."
"Well,
I'm about cried out, but yes. It's going to be so different at home."
Barbara
patted Evelyn on the shoulder.
"She's
not really gone, you know. She's only moving across town, and she'll miss you
as much as you miss her. It might be a week or so before she calls, but she'll
call you."
"Oh,
I know. I suppose I was the same way. It's the nights I don't how I'm going to
handle. We used to watch TV together, or sometimes just talk. I'm going to miss
that the most."
"Well,
if you want to talk, here's my card. You just call me. I've been there and done
that so I know what helps. I help people for a living, remember? By the way,
was that your ex? He's a good-looking guy. If I didn't have Todd, I'd be
thinking about doing a little fishing."
"Yes.
He wants to take me to dinner tonight, but I don't think I'm going. I don't
really trust him."
"Well,
it's a free meal, and you must have had something at one time."
"I
suppose we did. I don't know. We'll see."
"Well,
he's coming this way, so you better decide in a hurry. You call me tomorrow,
OK, and we'll talk."
For
Evelyn, dinner with Bill was almost like turning back the clock. He was the
same charming, funny man she'd married, and she found herself responding to him
in the same way. It was when he walked her to her car that she became
suspicious again.
"Evvy,
it was nice seeing you."
"I
enjoyed seeing you too."
"Uh…we
could do this again sometime if you want. I'd like to see you again."
Evelyn
paused to think before answering.
"I
don't know. It's been a long time and we've both changed a lot, I'd expect."
"Not
that much. You still laugh at my jokes, and I still think your sexy."
Bill
laughed.
"That's
about all we had the first time, isn't it?"
"Yes,
and look where it got us – you running off with that young redhead and me alone
with Kimberly."
Bill
shook his head.
"I
know, I know, I was a damned fool, Evvy. I have changed that way, though. I
know how it feels now. She left me for a guy fifteen years younger than me."
Evelyn
smiled wryly.
"I
hope it feels as good to you as it did to me."
"Evvy,
what I did wasn't very good for either of us, but maybe we could try again."
"I'll
have to think a long time about that. Right now, I have to get home."
Evelyn
tried unsuccessfully to will herself to fall asleep that night. Her mind would
not shut down. First, she'd think of Kimberly and hope she was all right. Surely
if something had happened, Kimberly would have called her…unless she couldn't.
No, they were just going across town to a hotel tonight. She must be all right.
But what if she was afraid of her first time. No, Evelyn was pretty certain
tonight wouldn't be the first time for Kimberly and Jerry. It was all in her
mind. Kimberly would be fine.
Then
she'd think of Bill's suggestion that they get back together. It was appealing
in some ways. She'd always loved his sense of humor. Maybe what Barbara had
said was true – she did need sex, but it was sex that caused Bill to leave.
Evelyn didn't think she'd changed in that respect, and if she hadn't, Bill
would probably just decide to leave again.
She
worried that Kimberly might not like sex and lose Jerry the same way she lost
Bill. No, they'd had that conversation before she'd told Jerry yes. Kimberly
has always been open with Evelyn about her feelings, and had said she could
hardly wait. She'd picked out some special lingerie for their first night, lacy
lingerie that was so skimpy Jerry wasn't going to have to wonder much about
what Kimberly looked like naked. There wouldn't be much in the way of their sex
life, at least until they had kids.
At
four, Evelyn gave up, got out of bed, and started the coffeepot. At seven, she
called Barbara.
Barbara's
voice sounded sleepy.
"Hello?"
"Barbara,
this is Evelyn, Kimberly's mother?"
"Oh…"
Evelyn
heard the deep inhale and then exhale of Barbara's yawn.
"Yeah.
Sorry, I just woke up."
"Oh,
I've got you out of bed, haven't I? I'm sorry. Did you mean what you said about
talking?"
"Sure
I did. You need to talk?"
"I
have to talk to somebody. I'm couldn't sleep for worrying about Kimberly…and
Bill wants to get back together with me."
"Evelyn,
Sweetie, that's not a talk for the phone. That's a talk we need to have face to
face. Tell you what, you come over after lunch, say about one, one-thirty, OK?
Todd's leaving for a three-day business conference this morning, so we'll have
as long as we need with no interruptions. Got a pencil? I'll give you
directions."
Barbara
greeted her, showed her to the living room, and sat down on the leather couch.
She patted the cushion next to her.
"You're
here to take a load off your mind, might as well take one off your feet too."
Evelyn
sat down on the opposite end of the couch.
"So,
you couldn't sleep? Sounds kinda familiar. Let's see, you thought of about a
thousand bad things that could happen to them and were worried she wouldn't be
able to call. You were worried she be afraid of her first time, but then you
wondered if it was really going to be her first time. You thought of calling
her, but she didn't give you the number of their hotel so you couldn't. How'm I
doing?"
"You
got them all right so far. There were a few others, but they were so
outlandish, even I knew they couldn't possibly happen."
"OK,
scratch the worries about Kimberly for a while. Now for your ex, Bill, is that
right?"
"Yes.
I went to dinner with him after I told you I wouldn't. When he drove me back to
my car, he asked if he could see me again."
"And
you want to but you don't want to, right?"
"I
think I don't want to more than the other, but it might be better than being
alone."
"Sweetie,
if all you want is company, go to the pound and get a dog. A dog will love you
to pieces, won't ever leave, and will listen to every word you say without
criticizing any of it."
"You
know what I mean. You have Todd to come home to every night."
"Yes,
I know, but there has to be a reason besides wanting company. You need to love
someone before you decide to live with them. If he's a man you'd like to live
with, why'd you split in the first place?"
"It
was me. I – I – Todd always wanted sex and I didn't. He said I was frigid. I
said I was tired. He said I didn't love him. I said he didn't love me or he'd
understand. He said he could understand if I gave him a reason why. I didn't
have one. I just didn't want to have sex. After thirteen years of that same
conversation, he found someone who liked sex and left me. I'm really surprised
he stayed as long as he did, and more surprised that he wants to try again."
"And
where is the woman now? He's not sleeping around on her too, is he?"
"He
says they're divorced. I don't think he'd lie to me about that. He never lied
to me that I know of. As soon as they got serious, he told me about her. That's
when I started sleeping in the guest room."
"Wow.
That's quite a load you've been hauling around on your shoulders. Kimberly gave
you a reason not to think about it, and now that she's gone and he's asked if
you'd take him back, you're asking yourself if you can change and make him
happy."
"Something
like that."
"Evelyn,
did you see a doctor about your lack of…desire?"
"Yes.
There's nothing wrong with me, at least not physically."
"Ever
thought you'd like sex with any other man?"
"I
don't know. I like men, really I do. I liked Bill, I just didn't want to have
sex with him."
"I
see. Well, tell you what. You're just gonna go home and start thinking again,
and I'll be here eating a frozen dinner by myself. You go home and put on
something pretty, then meet me back here at six. We'll have a girl's night
out."
"I
guess I could. I took a couple of days off from work just in case."
Evelyn
laughed.
"You're
not going to try to hook me up with a man are you?"
"Nope.
It'll just be us having a good time."
When
they walked out of the restaurant, Barbara asked, "Feel any better?"
"Well,
I'm full, that's for sure. Thank you for inviting me. Just having someone to
talk with helped."
"Oh,
were not done yet. It's only nine. I know a little bar with a great band. Let's
stop by and have a drink or two before we call it a night."
Barbara
led her to a table in the corner of the room as a jazz trio filled the room
with the sensuous sounds of a saxophone. A young girl with a tray promptly
walked over to their table and asked what she could get them.
"Well
Evelyn, what are we drinking tonight?"
"I
have no idea. Like you said at the dinner, I'm not much of a drinker."
"OK,
I'll choose for us. Bring us two strawberry daiquiris."
Evelyn
sipped the frosty drink, then smiled.
"Mmmm.
I could get to like these."
"I
know. I've loved them since I had the first one.'
"Barbara,
how'd you know so much about what I've been thinking? I thought you had to make
your patient lay on a couch and talk for hours before you figured them out."
Barbara
laughed.
"I'm
not a psychiatrist, Sweetie. I'm a family counselor. Yes, ordinarily, I would
have talked to you for a while, but like I told you at the wedding, I've walked
down the same path you have; all the way down and back again."
"Your
husband…?"
"Yes,
same thing, for almost the same reason. He thought I was too old for him at
forty, so he went shopping for a newer model. He found her, all skinny-assed,
big-boobed, blonde, five feet nine of her. At least he paid enough alimony and
child support that I could go back to school and finish my degree.
"He
came crawling back too. Caught her screwing their neighbor one day, from what I
gather. Asked me if we could get back together."
Barbara
took a drink from her frosted glass, and then smiled.
"I
told him to go fuck himself. You should have seen the look on his face. It felt
good, though."
"I
should probably tell Bill the same thing."
"Sweetie,
don't let what I did tell you what to do. You're the only one who can decide
that. You have to do what's best for you. I can only offer suggestions."
Evelyn
gulped down the last of her drink.
"You're
right. I can't see me saying that to Bill anyway. Hey, you suppose they have
any more of this stuff at the bar? I'm starting to feel a lot better."
Barbara
pulled into her driveway at eleven, pushed the button on the door opened, and
drove into the garage.
"Well,
Evelyn, how was the night out?"
"Great.
I haven't done this since…you know, I guess I never have done anything like
this."
"Want
a cup of coffee before you leave?"
"No,
thank you, but I really need to be getting home."
As
Evelyn got out of the car, she stumbled, then closed the strap of her purse in
the car door. She opened the door again and pulled out the strap, then stumbled
again as she pushed the door closed.
Barbara
walked to Evelyn's side of the car and offered her arm.
"Evelyn,
Sweetie, you're not driving home, not tonight. I think your daiquiris are
catching up with you. You're going to stay here with me tonight."
"But
I have to go home."
"No,
you don't. There's nobody there, and if Kimberly wants you, she'll call your
cell anyway. Now come inside and we'll find you something to sleep in."
Barbara
led Evelyn to her guestroom.
"You
can sleep here tonight, Sweetie. I'll go find you something to put on. Oh, the
bathroom's down the hall on the right. You get undressed and I'll be right
back."
Evelyn
was sitting on the bed when Barbara came back wearing only a man's shirt and
carrying another.
"Here,
Sweetie, I think this will fit you. They're not satin and lace, but Todd's
shirts sure are comfy. Now, off with your clothes."
Evelyn
reached behind her back for the zipper on her dress, made a few attempts that
failed, and then asked Barbara to help.
"I
can't seem to get this zipper to work. Can you do it."
Evelyn
felt Barbara's hands on her back, and then the zipper slid down.
"Thank
you. I don't know why they have to make zippers so hard to work. I always have
trouble. Guess I'll have to figure out how to do it by myself now," Evelyn
sniffed, "won't I?"
Barbara
saw tears in her eyes. She pulled Evelyn into her arms and hugged her.
"Now
Sweetie, don't go thinking like that, not after we had so much fun tonight."
"I can't
help it", Evelyn sniffed again. "I don't know what I'm going to do without
Kimberly."
Barbara
stroked Evelyn's hair as she held her close.
"There,
there, Evelyn. You're gonna to be OK Sweetie."
Evelyn
sniffed again.
"Evelyn,
look at me."
Evelyn
raised her face to Barbara's.
"Tomorrow
will be better. Honest it will."
Barbara
kissed Evelyn on the forehead.
"And
I'm here with you tonight."
Evelyn
looked at Barbara and smiled.
"I
used to kiss Kimberly like that when she cried."
Barbara
shrugged
"I
thought it might make you feel better."
"It
felt a little weird, to tell you the truth, but I guess it was nice too."
"Weird?"
"Well,
you're a woman. Women don't kiss other women."
"I've
had clients who seemed to like it, or so they said. One of them even went so
far as to show me."
Barbara
giggled.
"Wasn't
that bad, actually. Softer than kissing a man, and she didn't have any stubble.
It was kinda nice, really. You've never thought about it before?"
When
she didn't answer, Barbara gently pulled Evelyn closer.
"Close
your eyes, Sweetie."
Evelyn's
first impulse was to push Barbara away, but the tingles that raced through her
body made that impossible. Barbara's lips were so soft, so sensuous, and her
embrace was so gentle. After a few seconds, Barbara eased away.
"Well?"
Evelyn's
eyes were still closed and her lips were slightly parted.
"I
think you might have liked it…just a little?"
Evelyn
opened her eyes, took a deep breath, and then shook her head.
"It's…it's
wrong."
"Wrong?
Why?"
"Because…because…because
it's wrong."
"You
didn't feel anything? Sweetie, I know you felt something."
"But
women aren't supposed to like other women that way."
"Evelyn,
if I said I feel that way about you, what would you say?"
"I
don't know."
"Then
I'm going to kiss you again."
Evelyn
was so confused she could only stand there and let Barbara's lips move
sensuously against hers. The same tingles were there, and she caught her breath
when Barbara's hand slipped down her bare back. Without thinking of what she
was doing, Evelyn parted her lips and kissed back.
She
felt Barbara's hand stroke the small of back and then lightly brush her hips.
She shivered at the sensation, then caught her breath as Barbara gently
squeezed.
Barbara
pulled gently away.
"Sweetie,
you can lie to me and say nothing just happened, but you and I both know that
isn't true, don't we?"
"I
don't know. I've never felt like this before."
"Was
it terrible?"
"No."
Barbara
turned on the table lamp by the bed, then walked to the door and flipped the
switch. She walked back to Evelyn and stroked her hair.
"Evelyn,
will you let me teach you something, something I think you need to know about
yourself?"
"I
guess so. What is it."
"Just
relax for me and do whatever you feel like."
Barbara
caressed Evelyn's cheek with her fingertip, then traced a line from her cheek
to her lower lip. She brushed it gently, then put her hand behind Evelyn's neck
and gently pulled the woman's face to hers.
The
kiss was just as electric to Evelyn as the first one. She caught her breath as
the first tingles raced through her body. Again, her mouth opened slightly.
Barbara captured Evelyn's lower lip in her mouth and gently pulled, then
released it with a little smacking sound. Her hand slipped down to Evelyn's back
and pulled her body close. Evelyn felt Barbara's tongue tease her upper lip and
then slip between her teeth. Soft, wet warmth touched her tongue. As soon as
the contact was made, Barbara pulled her mouth away.
"Let's
get you undressed and into bed, Sweetie."
Evelyn
raised her arms and let Barbara lift her dress over her head. Barbara held her
close and kissed her again as she unfastened Evelyn's bra hooks. Evelyn felt
Barbara's hands slowly move around her sides and then under her bra cups to her
breasts. Silk-soft fingertips brushed her skin, then lifted the cups up and
away. Barbara's moved her body away slightly and Evelyn felt her bra slipping
down her arms.
Barbara
whispered, "I want you, Evelyn, but I'll stop if you want."
Her
fingertips lightly brushed Evelyn's nipples, and Evelyn felt a surge of
excitement. A little "Oh" slipped from her throat as she felt her tummy
tighten.
Barbara
led Evelyn to the bed, pulled the blankets back to the foot and gently laid her
down. After removing her shirt, she slid onto the mattress beside Evelyn. Her
eyes were wide and she was smiling as she bent to kiss her again.
To
Evelyn, Barbara's hands were so soft, and every fingertip seemed to find a
place that sent little shocks through her body. Her nipples stiffened at the
soft touch that lightly brushed them. Barbara would caress the small tight
nubs, and then slowly move them to stroke her side or her arm or her tummy.
Soft lips pursed over Evelyn's forehead and eyelids and then opened over her
mouth. She felt Barbara's tongue probing again, and reached out with her own.
Another tiny moan purred from her throat into Barbara's mouth.
Barbara's
soft, moist lips nibbled from Evelyn's mouth to her cheek to her neck and then
down to her breasts. A few soft kisses later, Barbara's mouth closed over
Evelyn's right nipple and sucked gently. Evelyn felt her tummy tighten again as
a surge of sensation raced down her body. She put her hand on the back of
Barbara's head and stroked her hair.
Barbara
moved her lips to the other nipple, and her hands slowly caressed down Evelyn's
body. Her lips soon followed the same path in a flurry of soft nibbles and even
softer kisses until she reached Evelyn's mound. Soft fingertips stroked
Evelyn's inner thighs from her knees almost to her sex, then up to the
waistband of her panties. Barbara pulled gently, and when Evelyn raised her
hips, eased them down over her legs.
Evelyn
moaned at Barbara's touch as the fingertips lightly brushed the hair between
her thighs and then the slender lips it covered. Evelyn didn't remember them
ever feeling so warm as they did now. They became even warmer as Barbara
slipped her fingertip between them. With slow, soft caresses, Barbara teased
Evelyn's rippled inner lips, then slipped lower to her entrance. Ever so
gently, one fingertip probed until it slipped through the folds into silken
wetness.
Barbara
whispered. "Open just a little more for me Sweetie".
As
Evelyn complied, the probing finger slipped in slightly, then deeper, then
deeper still. She moaned again as the finger curled up and then slowly
withdrew. Barbara gently closed her mouth over Evelyn's rigid nipple again,
licked the tip, and then pushed her fingertip back in. Evelyn's hips rocked up
into the hand that now pressed against her swelling lips.
The
finger withdrew again and slipped up over Evelyn's inner folds. She felt them
flow beneath Barbara's slippery finger and then felt that finger move up to
their cleft. As Barbara gently rubbed just above that cleft, Evelyn's hips
shook from the feeling. She put her hand on Barbara's back and caressed as the
sensations became almost too delicious to bear. In her mind, she wanted, no,
she needed more. She didn't know what that more was, but a feeling of need
she'd never before experienced filled her.
Barbara's
finger moved back to her entrance and pushed in again, this time joined by its
neighbor. The full feeling was wonderful, as was the feeling of those fingers
stroking in and out of her body. Barbara's thumb slipped up to the rapidly
swelling nub at the top of Evelyn's cleft and softly rubbed. Evelyn felt the
quiet little moan building in her throat and then slipping out as she arched
into Barbara's thrusting fingers and massaging thumb.
All
those feelings, feelings Evelyn was experiencing for the first time, paled to
nothingness when Barbara moved between her open thighs, knelt and nuzzled her
lips. She felt Barbara part them with her fingertips, and then the sensation of
Barbara's warm, wet tongue exploring the folds and ripples of her sex. The
tongue slipped lower and probed just inside, then up to the center of her
pleasure and softly licked. Evelyn's hips rocked up and she cried out in
pleasure.
Barbara's
hands stroked her hips, then her sides, and finally closed on her breasts. The
gently massaging hands squeezed, then stroked, then fingertips lightly pinched
her nipples. Evelyn arched off the bed and pulled Barbara's face against her
body.
Barbara's
teasing tongue searched, licked, and pressed on so many places that Evelyn
could not lie still. Her hips began to roll with every tantalizing touch, and
when Barbara found the swollen nub with her lips and sucked in gently, Evelyn
cried out. The tongue pressed softly on the very tip of the little button and
then the sucking sensation happened again. Evelyn gasped as her body began to
tighten. The feelings between her thighs and breasts and nipples made the
tightening feeling quickly become more intense.
Evelyn
felt as if her mind would explode from the waves of pleasure that raced from
her toes to deep inside her tummy, and the feeling only increased as Barbara
continued to love her with her mouth and fingertips. Evelyn's hips began to
rise slowly, then fall back to the bed, each rise slightly higher than the
first as her body took control of every movement.
One
moment, Evelyn felt as if she could scream from the pleasure. The next, her
body trembled, then arched off the mattress as she fell into the abyss of the
orgasm. Waves of release swept through her as she cried out, then cried out
again. The raging surges slowly ebbed, leaving her feeling warm, relaxed and as
if her mind were floating free of her body.
That
feeling stayed as Barbara moved from between her thighs and lay beside her.
Evelyn opened her eyes for the first time since they had begun and saw
Barbara's smiling face. Barbara pulled a stray strand of hair from Evelyn's
face and smoothed it into the rest, then kissed her on the forehead.
"You
look so beautiful, Sweetie. How do you feel?"
Evelyn
stretched and then stroked Barbara's arm.
"Mmmmmmmmmmmm.
I can't describe it."
"Still
think it's wrong?"
Evelyn
chuckled.
"Right
now, I don't care."
Barbara
pulled the blankets over them both, then hugged Evelyn.
"Don't
think about anything until you fall asleep but how you feel right now. We'll
talk some more in the morning."
She
kissed Evelyn again, and Evelyn kissed her back without any reservations.
Evelyn
woke slowly to memories of the night before. It hadn't been a dream. She could
feel Barbara's breasts pressing against her back as they lay together. She
stretched and felt Barbara's hand lightly stroke her hip. Evelyn sighed and
turned over into Barbara's arms. They kissed, not as lovers in the heat of
passion as last night, but as lovers knowing what could lie ahead.
As
their lips parted, Barbara whispered, "Good morning, Sweetie. Sleep OK?"
"Like
a baby."
"Good.
That's what was supposed to happen."
Evelyn
laughed softly.
"I
could have just taken a sleeping pill for that."
"But
then, you wouldn't have found out something about yourself, now would you?"
"I'm
not really sure what I found out. I know as soon as I start thinking about it,
I'm going to get very confused."
"So
did I, but Todd helped me through it."
"Todd
knows that you're a…a lesbian?"
Barbara
chuckled.
"I'm
not a lesbian, Sweetie. I just like to be with another woman sometimes. Yes,
Todd knows and he approves. Sometimes he likes to be with another man, and I
understand that too."
"But
you're married."
"It's
all about trust and honesty, Sweetie. When Todd told me he loved me, he asked
if I could live with a man who also liked men. I was a little shocked, to tell
you the truth, and after I listened to his reasons I was pretty confused. Then,
Todd took me to a little club and introduced me to a very wonderful woman. I
was confused afterwards too, until Todd reminded me of what I say to the
couples who see me for help. We sat down one night and talked it out. I decided
it wasn't wrong to feel as good as Tiffany made me feel that night.
"We're
happy, unlike the couples I try to help. It works for us, having lovers of the
same sex. Of course, we're careful, but it's made our sex life together even
better."
Evelyn
looked somber.
"Well,
I never liked sex with Bill, but sex with you was wonderful, so I guess I'm a
lesbian now?"
"Sweetie,
just because a woman made love to you one time doesn't mean you are. You've
just opened another door in your life. You can chose to go through it and stay,
go through it only sometimes, or never go in again."
"But
why did you do this? Do I look like a lesbian?"
"I
don't know how you think a lesbian should look. Most of them I know look just
like you and me. No, I just thought from the story you told me about your
marriage, you might like knowing there's more to sex than laying under a man.
You seemed to like learning about that."
"Yes,
but what would I tell Kimberly. She'd never understand."
"You
don't have to tell her anything if you don't want to. If you do, though, you
might be surprised at her reaction. Jerry's mother asked me to talk with them
both before they decided on a date. You did a good job with Kimberly. She's a
very smart, open-minded girl who loves you more than anything else…well, except
Jerry, but that's different. If you decide you like women, I think she'll understand.
She likes women too, or didn't you know that?"
"No,
but I don't suppose she'd just come right out an tell me something like that."
"I'll
bet if you ask her, she'll tell you. She loves you that much. Besides, you
shouldn't make this decision today or even tomorrow. You should keep finding
out who you really are and what you really want. If you'd like, we can go to
that same club sometime, and I'll introduce you to some other women who feel as
I do. Right now, I either want some breakfast or", she stroked Evelyn's nipple,
"or to show you how to make love to me. Your choice Sweetie."
Evelyn
smiled and tentatively touched Barbara's breast.
"The
least I can do is try to make you feel as good as I do right now. After that,
I'd love having breakfast with you. You know, I still have one more day off
work. Do you suppose we could go to that club tonight?"